[Top Ten Tuesday] – #17 – Top Ten Characters With Punishable Offences

Top Ten Tuesday is an original weekly meme created by The Broke and the Bookish. I thought this would be a fun way to share a condensed version of potential rambles and thoughts that I have.

This Week’s Theme:
Top Ten Characters
With Punishable Offences


Initial Thoughts:

This week’s theme was character driven with an open-ended interpretation for what we wanted to do. But good ol’ freebies to let me think of some ridiculous topic…am I right, or am I right?

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I hate these characters (maybe)… I just think it wouldn’t hurt to, you know, give them a nudge of sorts. And let’s get real; I’m sure you can think of some characters that you wouldn’t mind offering a haymaker or two. (Full disclosure: my initial theme was Top Ten Characters I Want to Punch In The Face… but this is much better and less angry.)

So I’m basically just going to throw some names out there of characters/things that come to mind. I do apologize if you like any of them. I’m only half serious with these choices and what I’m listing. If what I write makes you angry, super. If what I write makes you smile, even better. I’m not usually an angry person or a sadist by any measure… but I just think some characters have it coming to them (figuratively, of course).

Listed in no particular order. All images link up to their respective Goodreads site.

steelheart - covercatcher in the rye - cover

Persecuted: David Charleston (Steelheart)
Crime: Too many bad “metaphors”
Punishment: A meek nudges everytime he tries to concoct a metaphor… which exponentially increases in strength

Persecuted: Holden Caulfield (The Catcher In The Rye) Crime: For all the whiny angst when this novel is part of the curriculum for many teenagers already enjoying daily angst Punishment: A bitch slap or two… maybe even a backhand

Persecuted: Prenna James (The Here and Now)
Crime: For learning card games, eating food, and enjoying the beach life—while knowing the future is at the mercy of her actions (with the possibility of changing it for the better) Punishment: To have her watch as all of her playing cards get shredded, laced with gasoline and torched; food stepped on (just kidding #foodie), and ensuring that she trips into a wormhole back to the future


bookcover-the-5th-wave-rick-yanceydaisywhitney_whenyouwereherechristos tsiolkas - barracuda (cover)

Persecuted: Evan Walker (The Fifth Wave)
Crime: For taking notes from Edward Cullen and living out his Bella fantasies (literally creeper extraordinaire)
Punishment:  You are forgiven because I ship you and Cassie

Persecuted: Parent’s Who Name Their Child Dan with a K Last Name
Crime: For all the Daniel Kellerman’s (When You Were Here) and Daniel Kelly’s (Barracuda) they spawn into the world
Punishment: Several bitch slaps


divergent - veronica roth (cover)hunger games - suzanne collins (cover)

Persecuted: Peter Hayes (Divergent)
Crime: For the butter knife.
Punishment: Someone give me a butter knife… 

Persecuted: Bellatrix/Malfoys (Harry Potter)
Crime: For Dobby and all of my feels.
Punishment: Many, many, haymaker(s)

Persecuted: The Fog In The Quarter Quell (Hunger Games) Crime: For existing and…
Punishment: I’m just kidding fog, please don’t hurt me.


throne of glass

I’d like to also welcome Elyssa from Books and Iced Coffee for joining me with some of these additions!

Persecuted: Dolores Umbridge (Harry Potter)
Crime: For having a bitchy attitude
Punishment: To be sent to the guillotine

Persecuted: Lady Kaltain (Throne of Glass)
Crime: For sending someone somewhere [spoiler not revealed]
Punishment: A bitch slap or two


Afterthoughts:

Now I’m just internally rage-y because I’m reminded of why I hate some of these characters. So, if you had the option…who would you punch (figuratively or literally)? And if any of you are ever interested in joining me on my crazy lists, do let me know in advance LOL.

Cheers, Joey

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32 thoughts on “[Top Ten Tuesday] – #17 – Top Ten Characters With Punishable Offences”

  1. Ahhhh, Holden Caulfield’s would make such a lovely cushion for my fist.

    It’s a good thing I didn’t go with my initial idea of “characters who tick me off” because as I said in my post, I kind of despise humanity and a lot of characters. (Ahhh, Gryffindor characters are always so foolhardy and running into danger without a plan! It’s so infuriating, I just want to smack some sense into them!) I think with enough built up rage, my list would probably include Snape for being a complete and utter asshole and because, yeah, if there’s fanfic, I’ll ignore canon like it’s my job, but canon itself??? Can people PLEASE stop defending him with bullshit reasons like “well Harry was a little shit to him”, like… REALLY?! People are literally saying that if Snape hadn’t held this grudge against James Potter, he still would’ve hated Harry because Harry was a little shit to him? EXCUSE ME BUT I DO BELIEVE HARRY WAS RATHER INVESTED IN TAKING NOTES AT THE BEGINNING OF THAT FIRST POTIONS LESSON AND SNAPE WAS AN ASSHOLE TO MOST STUDENTS REGARDLESS OF WHO THEIR PARENTS WERE SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT SLYTHERINS.

    Oops. Sorry. I apparently have a lot of pent up rage about that topic. Other than that I wholeheartedly agree with you on Holden Caulfield. I’d also want to punch Bella Swan for being useless, Jane Eyre for being so utterly dim about Rochester and his state of cray, Four from Divergent for turning into a really really self-righteous whineface and possibly Harry Potter for mostly just fucking about with the help of good old Hermione instead of, you know, using his brains and applying himself.

    I guess my punching people list is mostly just a list of people whom I’d like to smack some sense into. Huh.

    (Oh no, this got long. I apologise.)

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    1. Hey no apologies required! I enjoy exhaustive rants–they fill my soul. I think Four turned, as you call it a “whineface”, in Allegiant for me. Pretty sure I was okay with him throughout the rest of it but when suddenly he gets his own voice, no. Just no.

      Characters that require a good smackin’ some sense into are quite the dime a dozen indeed!

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  2. Haha! This is so great.
    I would totally bitch slap Holden. And I’d punch Umbridge SO. HARD.
    I think my favorite part of this post is #Foodie. Do not ruin the food.
    Here’s my TTT! I did my top ten book boyfriends, which you might not relate to, but whatever. 🙂

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  3. Great list, definitely made me laugh! I went the angry route and ranted about some characters myself, but I really likes how you just handed out punishments instead. It’s a nice fictional revenge!

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  4. I love this list. I’d love to slap Holden a few times, despite his tight hold on my heart (somehow he didn’t make my list. Probably because I love to hate him more than actually love him, so that’s a thing). Umbridge is vile. She should be smacked by a train, probably the Hogwarts Express.

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  5. I like the rage! You already saw my list, and I would punch each of those men straight in the face. I might actually punch Tris in the face as well, because she just drove me nuts. Okay, a strong slap might be more appropriate. 🙂

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    1. Alleviating rage is always a good remedy for the soul. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is the saying, right? Although I haven’t read (or ever will, I’d imagine) dabble with 50 Shades, someone should put that douche through BDSM and see how he likes it. Am I right?

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  6. I LOVE your list! I haven’t read The Fifth Wave, but I love your comparison to Bella, who coincidentally makes me rage, lol!

    I totally agree with you about Dolores Umbridge. I think she was most children’s first encounter with a truly evil character that wasn’t a monster or devilish fiend. She’s just a really scary sadist! However, I disagree with you about the Malfoys and Bellatrix. I liken their situation to how the Nazis were brainwashed by Hitler. Does it excuse their actions, no, but I feel more sympathy for them. Especially after the Malfoys have a change of heart and just want to protect their son. I get it. Bellatrix, however, just wasn’t capable of saving herself.

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    1. Thanks, haha. Anyone with a certain degree of creeper antics similar to Edward… and I just have to call that shit out. Just no.

      And that’s a fair statement for Bellatrix/Malfoys. Sometimes the change of heart thing doesn’t always win points for me–and I think that was just the case here. But definitely glad to hear diverging thoughts!

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  7. Creative list! I’m SO glad that someone agrees with me about Holden Caulfield- literally one of my LEAST favorite literary characters. Also, I think we can all pretty much agree that we all wanted Umbridge dead more than Voldemort haha

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  8. I’m reading Throne of Glass right now and yea, I’d love to bitch slap Lady Kaltain. Devious little biznatch!!!!

    P.S.~ PO-TA-TOES (samwise gamgee) lol Thanks for getting that song stuck in my head 😉

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