I will not bullshit you:
This past [third] year of book blogging was a steaming pile of shit. It was.
I hit a wall that I’m led to believe most bloggers go through during their sophomore [second] year. I wasn’t where I wanted to be and non-blogging days compounded into weeks, and so on. I had great ideas and things to say but nothing stuck. Even when inspiration hit and I clicked that elusive New Post button, [scheduled] drafts published themselves despite being incomplete or they were sent back into the void when creativity diminished.
I found myself scrolling through WordPress Reader and skim-read the hundreds of new posts I’d see every day but rarely dropped a comment. Moreover, I had posts where you lovely individuals would drop comments that were met with unresponsiveness on my part. This is what I feel terrible about: that you friends took the time to let me know your thoughts and I barely reciprocated the same sentiments, and when I did, it was weeks later (if at all). I apologize for this.
I was running into a wall.
And I’m still running into that wall.
And maybe I’ll just be here chiseling away these bricks hoping to get back to the other side; where things feel like the first year of blogging again when everything is so new, so unknown, so fun. A side that will always be out of reach but is equally green and awesome and fun as the side we’re on. That’s the storm I’m lost in. Between the constant influx of new community voices, the departure of others, and the continual desire to invent and reinvent yourself in a shifting landscape of what content marketing is, all of these experiences accumulate to a question of why.
Why am I writing/reading this?
Why do people want to know about this?
Why be and do better?
The community, as an intangible and enigmatic concept, gives zero fucks as to anyone’s slump. It will move forward without you or me and it’s what you do with that matter-of-fact acceptance that is of concern. It’s okay to back down and seek other objectives so much as it is okay to continue to meander through it all. But only you know what you want, and for me, though I came for the books, I am certainly staying for the community.
So many thanks are in order, and if you fit into multiple categories, I only classed you as one:
Canadians: To Amanda, Patty, Ambur, Jesse, Maria, Tiff, Michele, Christine, Erika, Joy, Giselle, Wendy, Dani, Indigo, Ardo, Jenn, Sarah, and Nanua Twins- Sorry for you being as you are in real life as you are online. So, basically, not not a murderer. Sorry.
The Land of the Upside Down and Clouds: To Aentee, Jenna, Brett, Jeann, and CW- You lot are, perhaps surprisingly, the community members I speak to the most. I revert to my inner Cloud-shaped Quokka when we correspond. I'm basically Aussie, you hear?
The Black Sheeps: To Tika, Shelly, Aila, Jamie, and Andrew- We pour the tea; we drink the tea.
PinkiesMiddle fingers up!
Twitter Chats: To Brittany of #BBTC- My Brittyonce. I will never admit my love for Zach Parise. Go Leafs Go! To Sarah and Sabrina of #BookishAMA- Would you rathe--
Publishers and Retailers: To Indigo, Simon & Schuster Canada, Raincoast Books, and Harper Collins Canada- Many thanks for allowing me to work alongside you in promoting books (even if I am probably the worst candidate to provide early reviews as I am on Team "3 Stars is the New 5").
11/10 Would Eat These Brains: To Liam, Nazahet, Reg, Wesaun, Aimal, Thomas, and Mishma- We may not always converse with each other. We also might not agree with everything (and you'll never know what because I judge quietly). But I see you and that which you vomit into the world.
This Random Group I Have No Name For: To Joséphine, Crini, Cee, and Sana- I may have just clumped you all together in my mind, so...
Bookstagram: To Cherry, Danny, Ava, Justine, Jasmine, El, Kris, and Crystal- Your viewfinder gives me joy.
Sandwich: To Ann & Carmen of YA Wednesday- Can you sandwich it?
The Precious Commenters: To Deanna, Lois, Geraldine, Bianca, Chrissi, Marie, Ashley, Kat, Sara, Stephanie, Ichabod, and Summer- Your consistency in comments light up my e-mail notifications.
It's "Later Days" not "Goodbye" re Twitter: To Mariam, Shelumiel, Val, Kevin, Nova, Lillie, Gee, Joel, Paige, Jon, Nuzaifa, J.M., MC, Gervan, Kelly, Kaitlin, Tamara, Blessie Mae, Lori, Beatrice, Tina, Annie, Brandie, Rachel, Jaz, Stefani, Hazel, Piéra, and others- Cheers.
Negative Reviews: To all the negative reviews- You are needed and you make me laugh without fail.
Community Drama: To all the drama that spreads like wildfire- Thanks for the entertainment, but once in a while, okay? Not all the time.
(But I won't say nuttin' if you exist all day every day.)
Authors: ...and to those whose words enlighten, hurt, and are incredibly effusive (even if not to me but for someone else)- Cool beans.
The Ones Who Suffer From My Bitching: To Savindi and Sam- I have words for you.
I made an attempt at vomiting as many names as I could remember. I do apologize if you are not listed above. But if we have connected in any capacity within the past year, thank you.